Bullets and army boots
All I remember is that it was me out there. All dressed up in military, from top to toes: casket, uniform and army boots. And a shotgun. It was as if I was the only enemy there, attacked from all sides. People and some sort of drones were shooting at me. I escaped that building, eventually, sliding on a stairs arm, till my feet touched the ground. And I started running, holding tight of my shotgun. It was night time, but I was reaching to the ocean in front of the building. The noises coming my way were unbearable. My ears hurt tremendously due to the sharp and heavy noises and my brain was on the verge of an explosion. I never thought I’d make another second.
But I made it. I reached the shore and then the water. Shallow water, so I had to carefully watch where I was diving. They were all around and they were still shooting at me. But I kept on diving and swimming, despite the heavy uniform. I had to. My life was at stake. So I would dive and swim, take a breath and dive and swim again. A long underwater run. I just couldn’t stop. I needed to reach the other side of the ocean, though bullets were pouring from above.
Exhausted, I finally reached the other shore. But I was still pushed to run. In my soaked clothes and army boots, I kept on running till I found a shelter. When I got in, all the lights were on. It was a daycare place for women only. I remember looking around me, until I saw a nurse. And then nausea took over me. My head was injured, so blood started bursting, as my body hit the floor. Last thing I know? I heard a nurse screaming for others to come help, as I needed urgent intervention. Then my power went off. Everything was covered in silence, as I fainted.
Yet, life goes on…
That was my last night’s dream. A dream I wanted to instantly write down, but I was too caught in the dream to wake up and reach my writing tool. But I’m lucky to remember my adventures in the fantasy world. Not many people do.
However, while writing it down, I am thinking about what could its significance be…
Could it be that my fears were the bullets and the uniform and army boots represent the obstacles I had to face to overcome the terror fears put me through?
Was it a flashback of my last years’ life, heavily captured in such a movie script?
Is my warrior mindset sending me another signal that I need to fight till the end, no matter what?
I never had an easy life. But I can’t complain. It built me into what I am today. Haven’t all those events happened, I would still be begging for mercy and let myself walked over, like a doormat full of dust.
But I rose and learned to speak my mind. I managed to stand tall and fight adversity. Some say I’m a superhero, but I say I’m a strong woman. I wear no badge, but I proudly wear the scars my experiences have left in my soul.
Though I can’t remember the outcome of my dream (was the surgery successful or was I just another loss?), I know exactly what the outcome of my life so far is. I’m only 33, but I’ve fought some heavy battles. And I know there are still others to follow. I’m in the middle of one. Yet I also know that I learned to come out a winner… and I will! Every single time!
I’m not reaching up to the first place. I don’t want it. I don’t NEED it. But I’m seeking for peace of mind. And I’m not preaching it in vain. There’s nothing more valuable than this. If I manage to meet my hero (me in a peaceful state of mind), then my real life story can have any kind of ending. I will still be happy! When my body will be weak and my last breath will be taken, I will walk towards the light with a smile on my face, knowing that the stars will warmly greet me and turn me into one of their own.
Until then, there’s a lot to do. And, alike my dream, my life will never cease to challenge me. But I will gladly hit the walls. Because, one day, they will all come tumbling down…
Freelance writer & editor | Storyteller | Interviewer | Published author | Co-Founder of afsyn.com | Podcast host & producer