Epilogue

Every piece of rejection is another thorn my heart needs to drip blood from. No words could ever take it off and tons of stitches could never cover the pumping wound… Each word of yours (though not rude) cuts my flesh, reaching to the bones, chopping them to pieces I can’t glue together any longer.

[listen to: Sofia Karlberg – A Bible Of Mermaid Pictures (Acoustic Version)]

Sometimes I am far away from this world, sunk deep in my day-dreaming. Times and often, deception is too vivid there, yet I’m so scared to wake up, out of the fear of bringing it to life, thus stealing every pinch of hope left. The dim light embraces my state of mind, amplifying the tremble of my heart and the music echoing around the room moves my lips in a dance they can’t fight, though the words are meant to stick the thorn deeper with each note. I wish I could stop that, but there’s something framing my actions, leaving me no space to move. My feet are tied to each other, my hands are barely able to push the keys for 2 words in a row, my heart beats slower with every second and my mind is covered in blur. The only thing I can do is sing my sorrow, in hopes the Universe will hear it and send me something else in return.

bleeding black rose

[listen to: Sofia Karlberg – Runnin (Lose it All)]

If only you were here now… Words would have no purpose, as my eyes speak for themselves, revealing feelings I wish no one will ever try. A mix of misery, deception, despair, sadness… Some kind of radioactive contagious energy. There’s a battle between my mind (that tells me to let you go) and my heart (that is stubborn to keep you inside). The torture I need to take down is entertained by loneliness and too much time available to over-thinking…

Sleep will soon, slowly, take me in its arms… Yet, I wish I could keep my eyes open, as night-time dreaming is even worse that daydreaming. Effortlessly, my eyelashes are longing to come together, so I’ll have to give in, against my will…

One day can be too much… Things may take opposite directions, draining my veins…

My mind has played me too many times before, in a tiredless attempt to fight the obvious. But tonight things will turn out differently. I’ll find my path once again… And again… Till the end of time… Change is what I embrace this time, with no wish of going back.

My mind salutes you fairly, my heart says thanks for all the teachings and my lashes wave the final good-bye, as my lips whisper “You will always have your special spot granted!”

So, I’ll just surrender to the night, holding my heart tight and trying to comfort it with the light of stars…

Love,
A.

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