That ‘weirdo’ look

 I just adore when people look at me and label a weirdo 😁  Jeans and t-shirt, red-blonde hair (unacceptable 😱), mascara and red lipstick (too daring 😲)… Oh, and music… Such an amazing feeling of self-acceptance… Of freedom… I never wanted to fit in… I finally made it! I can’t and would never, ever be able to follow rules, not break boundaries and just follow the masses. Being put in a box. It’s just not me… I’m being me: Limited Edition 😂 just me and my headphones! A true rebel, I may say… 😁 No box around…

I love hanging with nobody but myself… Taking quality time to think, write, listen to my heart, hear my own wishes and fantasize their accomplishment or just cry and let go… Can’t do that surrounded by others’ noise… Though I’m not afraid… I simply do appreciate every single walk or minute by myself… Half loner…

Half social… When people say ‘you’re happy today’…  But they know nothing about the fact that my social days finish in – literally – crashing..  I just can’t put up with too much sh*t in one day… So I refuse to… Thus, I cut off… Shut off… Some days I wish I could only cherish that place of mine I should call home… Though sometimes I can’t recognize that strange place…

Walking in the subway station – feet almost dancing, betraying the beat in my headphones, fingers keeping tempo… Waiting for the bus… Beat in my feet again… If only I could dance-walk … When in that tired but amazingly good mood… For no reason… No reason… Wrong… There’s always a reason.. I put my mind at work for this… Every single day..  It’s just…  Well… Blue moments are part of our lives, right? But I feel I can overcome everything if I want to! Everyone can! All you need is THE WILL! And the COURAGE to fight your little dwarf known as society-like conscience, whispering so satisfied: ‘Don’t do it’. Yes, do it – slap that jerk!

Try listening to the other one… The one they call the good angel, but it’s actually your inner call. And promise: Being harsh on myself – banned; self disrespect – thrown million miles away; selfishness – be steady, I’m getting there; anger – damn, that’s a hard one…
Now it’s time for all that’s mine: courage (though never lacked), self-awareness, learning and following my own highway (speedy or in slow motion, without annoying flashlights and angry horns; just the way I want it). Without hurting others…

Being considered weird is a blessing!

Even after this gets published, I’ll be considered as such. But it’s not mine to take in. Finally got it… I will never wear that old-fashioned mask again… The one called… You say it! 😉

Love,
A.

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